Kind and Useful: A Blueprint for Change

As foster parents, my wife and I need a simple way to communicate the family rules to children joining our home whether from just up the road or the other side of the world.

Over the years, we’ve distilled it down to two essentials:

• Be kind to others (and yourself) and
• Be useful for the benefit of yourself (and others). 

But these principles are a great recipe for more than just a harmonious household. I suggest they can also serve as a powerful framework for business, helping to shift our perspective from personal advancement to shared gains.

Like many who come out the other side of an MBA, I know there’s little value in a model that can’t be transformed into a 2×2 square… so of course, I had to create one for this idea!

Kind & Useful: The Humble Hero

This quadrant represents the optimal blend of compassion and competence. Individuals here excel in their roles and foster positive, supportive environments for others to thrive within. 

They balance personal achievement with altruism, creating a harmonious and productive atmosphere.

Unkind & Useless: The Dead Weight

Individuals in this quadrant contribute neither positively to their environment nor to those around them and are often especially unkind to themselves. 

Like psycho-vampires, left to their own devices, they can drain resources and morale, creating a negative impact both personally and collectively.

Unkind & Useful: The Ruthless Loner

These individuals are often highly capable and productive, yet their lack of kindness can lead to a toxic environment. 

Their contributions are prized, but they come at a cost to their interpersonal relationships, which could potentially harm team cohesion and personal satisfaction in the long term.

Kind & Useless: The Lovable Do-Gooder

These individuals have their hearts in the right place but lack the effectiveness to make a significant impact, often spreading cheer without tangible results. 

They may be fun to be around, but they offer little substance to move the dial and can even do more harm than good (despite their best intentions).

But don’t just take my word for it! Here’s what research has to say about being kind and useful…

Kindness fosters deep, meaningful relationships, which are essential for emotional support and mental health. Research by Konrath, O’Brien, and Hsing (2011) found that empathetic individuals report higher life satisfaction and well-being levels. This connection lays the groundwork for a supportive network that enhances personal advancement.

Usefulness contributes positively to competence and self-efficacy. Studies suggest that individuals who feel competent in their roles are more likely to experience higher job satisfaction and motivation (Bandura, 1997). Being useful helps us achieve personal goals and establishes us as valuable members of any team or community. 

I’ve seen first-hand the number of people who see material improvements in their psychological health simply by perceiving themselves (or being viewed by others) as being useful through doing something of value.

Kindness in the workplace leads to stronger team dynamics and higher morale. According to the Harvard Business Review (2014), organisations with a culture of compassion see increased employee engagement and retention. This positive environment is crucial for personal growth as it encourages collaboration and mutual respect. It’s also literally free – it costs nothing to be kind.

Combining kindness and usefulness fosters resilience. When individuals are both kind and useful, they are more likely to receive and, importantly, accept support during challenging times, which helps to overcome obstacles and promote continuous growth. For example, according to Masten (2001), resilience is often built through supportive relationships and effective problem-solving skills nurtured by kindness and usefulness.

And what becomes possible?

Yes, the framework is meant to be fun and a little tongue-in-cheek, but it does carry an important message: there’s huge potential in transitioning from a personal outlook of well-being and individual performance to one that emphasises shared mutual obligations. 

This shift recognises that our actions impact others and that collective success often depends on collaborative efforts and mutual support. Recognising interdependence can evoke a sense of shared responsibility and rewards. 

The African philosophy of Ubuntu, meaning “I am because we are,” encapsulates this idea, promoting the welfare of the community alongside personal success (indeed, it’s hardly a global virtue to prize the ‘self’ above all others).

Personal achievements are more sustainable when they contribute to the well-being of others (which, in turn, we also vicariously benefit from). This holistic and cyclical approach ensures that success is achieved and maintained through supportive networks and communities. While many of us can take comfort from our personal qualities of resilience, much of our resources are often external and contextual.

Finally, research by Cameron, Bright, and Caza (2004) indicates that ethical leadership leads to higher levels of organizational commitment and effectiveness. Thus, business leaders who embody kindness and usefulness inspire their teams to adopt and live these values, creating a ripple effect that enhances organizational culture and societal norms. 

Entrepreneurs and purpose-led business leaders, let’s champion this model and create a world where success is defined by how well we lean in and lift each other up. After all, ‘together we grow’.

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Sources:

• Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. New York: W.H. Freeman.
• Cameron, K. S., Bright, D., & Caza, A. (2004). Exploring the Relationships between Organizational Virtuousness and Performance. American Behavioral Scientist, 47(6), 766-790.
• Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Free Press.
• Harvard Business Review. (2014). Compassionate Management Research.
• Konrath, S., O’Brien, E. H., & Hsing, C. (2011). Changes in Dispositional Empathy in American College Students Over Time: A Meta-Analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 15(2), 180-198.
• Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227-238.