From Words to Impact – How to Master Your Leadership Communication Style
Effective communication goes beyond an exchange of words, thoughts and feelings. At its most powerful, communication is a catalyst for transformation. It’s how we unite people, ignite passions, build trust and amplify our collective potential.
When we’re on a mission to change the world in some way, or build a thriving business or community, it pays to take time to understand communication and learn how we can practise it more effectively. Here, we combine two psychological concepts to explore exactly this – Grice’s Maxims and Adult Attachment Styles. As small business owners, our own attachment styles often influence our brand’s personality and messaging. While understanding our audience is essential, true connection starts with self-awareness. Knowing our communication patterns and preferences enables us to speak – and write – with more clarity, empathy and purpose to resonate more deeply and authentically with others.
Let’s start with Grice’s Maxims
Philosopher, H P Grice, advocated for communication in its clearest, most helpful and respectful form. To achieve his vision, Grice founded these principles to guide us:
- Quantity – give just the right amount of information. We’re talking not too much nor too little – summon your inner Goldilocks.
- Quality – say only what you believe to be true. Don’t hold back or over-embellish.
- Relation – stay on topic. Remember the context of the conversation and keep things relevant.
- Manner – prioritise clarity to avoid confusion. Don’t use jargon (unless it’s absolutely necessary). And take care to structure your thoughts.
By following these guidelines, our conversations will flow more naturally, and we’ll forge that vital mutual understanding. But when we take things a step further and apply these maxims to our personal attachment style, we can go on to truly elevate our communication skills.
What are Adult Attachment Styles?
Inspired by Bowlby and Mead, attachment styles help us understand our preferred behaviour patterns and emotional responses. Formed from our earliest bonds, our attachment style guides how we approach day-to-day interactions – and, in doing so, it influences our relationships. We can dramatically improve relations with those closest to us by gaining insight into this. But, more than this, we can transform how we do business – improving how we interact with our clients, employees, and partners and even how we show up in the world.
What’s your natural attachment style?
- Passionate Pioneers (Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment) often display preoccupied and sometimes intrusive communication patterns. Their intense focus on relationships leads them to seek constant reassurance.
- Independent Innovators (Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment) tend to adopt a self-reliant and somewhat detached communication style. They might minimise the importance of relationships and prefer solitary work.
- Cautious Creators (Fearful-Avoidant Attachment) exhibit a fluctuating and conflicted communication style. A desire for close relationships fuels this, yet paradoxically, this is contrasted with a fear of getting too close.
- Visionary Leaders (Secure Attachment) are coherent and collaborative. They are skilled communicators, expressing their thoughts and feelings clearly, which makes them influential leaders and team players.
If you’re still not sure, you can read more about each style here: https://firestarter.live/sparks/the-inner-world-of-entrepreneurs-exploring-attachment-styles/
Next we’ll explore how these different attachment styles interact with Grice’s Maxims to give us actionable insights for refining our communication strategies. Start by exploring your own attachment style, but then take a few minutes to understand the others too. This is not to the point of psychoanalysing others, but just to appreciate that we all have individual preferences and patterns. This greater self-awareness and acceptance of our differences will help you communicate on a higher level with loved ones, team members, clients, and beyond. To listen better, be heard and reach mutual understanding more easily.
In a rush? Download our quick-glance reference guide here >
Passionate Pioneers (Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment)
If you’re a Passionate Pioneer, you’ll likely lead from the front with your heart firmly (and sometimes not so firmly) on your sleeve. You prize approval and recognition and go to great lengths to avoid rejection and rebuke. It’s also possible that you over-analyse situations to the point of false positives as you make sense of interactions.
So how could you adapt your communication style based upon Grice’s Maxims?
The Quantity Maxim: Less is more – seriously!
As a Passionate Pioneer, you may tend to overshare and seek reassurance. A genuine desire for connection and approval can result in information overload. So recognise that sometimes, less is more. You’ll keep your audience engaged with more focused and impactful dialogue by practising brevity.
Of course, if you’re communicating with a Passionate Pioneer, providing additional details will help them to feel secure and understood.
The Quality Maxim: Keep it focused and accurate
Your enthusiasm can sometimes lead you to share unnecessary information that may stray from what’s truly relevant, credible and accurate. While well-intended, this can have counterproductive outcomes.
If you’re communicating with a Passionate Pioneer, remember to include further details in the form of background, context, and other comforts. However, too much information can provoke anxiety and overload, so think about ‘chunking up’ information or breaking it down into different formats (e.g., Q&A, further instructions, or feedback loops).
The Relation Maxim: Sharpen your focus
Passionate Pioneers are natural sharers, and as such, you may have something of a reputation for going off track! Of course, people may not tell you in case this offends you. So take time to keep your messages relevant – keep a bulleted list in mind to stay focused and minimise the chance of overwhelming others or losing them in the noise.
If you’re communicating with a Passionate Pioneer, remember that they may need additional reassurance from you to reconcile what might seem like a straightforward message.
The Manner Maxim: Simplify to be heard
Your enthusiasm can sometimes make your messages too complex or out of reach for others. Focusing on clear, structured communication will keep your audience engaged, dispel any confusion, and ensure your points hit home.
If you’re communicating with a Passionate Pioneer, be aware they may need more explicit and unambiguous instructions to avoid misunderstandings and ease any worries they have.
Independent Innovators (Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment)
If you’re an independent innovator, you’re likely to prize independence and the ability to be self-reliant in even the most challenging of circumstances. To others around you, however, this may come across as being aloof or detached. Your communication style is minimal, and you often prefer to get the job done yourself rather than recruit others to help you.
The Quantity Maxim: Don’t skimp on the details
As an Independent Innovator, you’re someone who likes to cut straight to the point. While this probably works well in many scenarios and with some people, you’re at risk of alienating others (Passionate Pioneers, for example). By thoughtfully providing more information, you’ll foster collaboration and trust within your team and go on to create space for ideas to flourish – without leaving people guessing.
If you’re communicating with an Independent Innovator – remember short is sweet and less is more. They may find all those additional details at best unnecessary and at worse overwhelming.
The Quality Maxim: Keep it brief, but back it up
Your concise communication style will benefit from adding that all-important detail – and then backing it with evidence. Finding data that supports your messages helps you earn trust and bolsters your influence, even when you prefer to keep things brief.
When communicating with an Independent Innovator, a straightforward, matter-of-fact approach will likely win the day. What may appear to you as cold or impersonal may be interpreted as respecting personal boundaries.
The Relation Maxim: Make it about them
You might like to stick to the facts, but you’re missing a trick if you don’t ensure they resonate with your audience. Instead, be mindful of people’s current needs and challenges and tailor your messages accordingly. This will boost engagement, and your ideas will land home more powerfully.
If you’re in conversation with Independent Innovators, you’ll find they’re typically most comfortable with practical topics and concrete situations. Giving them the space to steer the conversation can help them feel more at ease before diving into personal matters.
The Manner Maxim: Make it clear, make it count
You’ve probably got the message by now that as an Independent Innovator, brevity is your strength. But consider whether you’re keeping messages so brief they’re too vague for people to grasp. Adding layers of essential detail will add clarity and help prevent misunderstandings. Clarifying instructions boosts team confidence and efficiency and keeps everyone on the same page.
Keep it simple whenever possible when communicating with Independent Innovators. Not because the complexity isn’t welcomed but because clarity is likely to be more highly praised (and this is fiendishly difficult to do well). Think more directions and listicles than narrative storytelling.
Cautious Creators (Fearful-Avoidant Attachment)
If you’re a Cautious Creator, you may seek close relationships, but when people get close, this can become anxiety-provoking. You may blow hot and cold with conflicting messages and changeable communication styles. Unsurprisingly, this makes you unpredictable, and people may be inclined to distance themselves if they feel you are in any way inauthentic or ‘fake’.
The Quantity Maxim: Clear and steady wins the day
As a Cautious Creator, your communication style can vary depending on how comfortable you feel. This can be very confusing for others. Adopting a more transparent and consistent approach will help you build trust and reduce misunderstandings, making others feel secure when working with you.
When in conversation with Cautious Creators, take care in what and, maybe more importantly, how you share information. Tone and delivery of messages are likely to be as important as the content you’re trying to convey.
The Quality Maxim: Clarity and truth are your superpowers
Your communication can sometimes feel unclear or hesitant. Prioritising clarity and truth will strengthen your messages and help you establish more profound, more reliable connections with your team.
Here, I’m reminded of the phrase ‘giving them a hard shoulder to cry on,’ as Cautious Creators are likely to respond best when feedback and tough calls are delivered in an honest yet gentle way.
The Relation Maxim: Align with what matters most
Getting lost in the details is all too easy if you’re a Cautious Creator, but if you can keep your audience’s needs top of mind, this will help you forge stronger, more meaningful connections. Focusing on relevance will build trust and make your communication more impactful.
When in conversation with Curious Creators, it’s best to expect the unexpected. Think of dialogue as more of a dance than an informational transaction. Yes, there will be shifts in topic and focus, and this may demand patience and tact to gently guide them back to the topic at hand.
The Manner Maxim: Clarity is king
Your messages can sometimes feel uncertain or mixed. Focusing on clarity and consistency builds trust and reduces misunderstandings, making your interactions smoother and more reliable.
Be empathetic if you’re communicating with Curious Creators, You’ll land your messages more effectively if you’re supportive, but not threatening. So meet them where they are and show that you understand their perspective.
Visionary Leaders (Secure Attachment)
Visionary Leaders tend to be as comfortable with closeness as they are with independence – making open, trusting, and direct communication easy. Their emotions tend to be balanced and they take time to be responsive to others while not losing a sense of self and their own opinions.
So how might Visionary Leaders adapt their communication style based upon Grice’s Maxims?
The Quantity Maxim: Keep it balanced
If you’re a Visionary Leader, you probably find it relatively easy to provide just the right amount of information. This balanced approach prompts open dialogue and reciprocal exchange. You naturally tailor and personalise your messaging to different audiences – dialling up or down the amount of information others need to engage meaningfully.
The Quality Maxim: Trust comes naturally
You’re likely to effortlessly communicate in a way that builds and maintains trust and openness. While this comes easy for you, the challenge may lay in accepting that not everyone finds this as straightforward. While you’re likely to be a reliable source of information – you might discover that others are not always able to meet you where you are.
The Relation Maxim: Stay relevant and engaging
You’re adept at balancing relevance with exploration in the pursuit of purposeful conversation. You’re able to traverse breadth and then plunge into depth as the situation demands. For a Visionary Leader, the key is taking time to understand your audience’s needs and interests, remembering to pace for those who may not be as nimble as you in following arguments or simply remaining on topic.
The Manner Maxim: Lead with confidence
Your communication style is likely to be characterised by clear and direct use of language. Your structured approach makes it easy for others to follow, and you interact on professional yet practical levels. Therefore, take time to consider reactions from others that may come from a more emotive place or which are couched in inferences and indirect statements.
That sums up our take on how Grice’s Maxims can be applied to attachment styles. Want to keep a handy reminder? Download our Quick Glance Communication Tips here >
Bringing it all together
Our flagship Brand Re:Ignition programme takes founders and business leaders on a journey to transform their brands for future growth. By blending creativity with psychology, we ‘firestart’ brands to ensure they resonate on every level to attract more followers and forge deeper connections.
As a key part of this journey, we work with entrepreneurs on their identities, helping them evolve from startup founders to confident CEOs of thriving enterprises. Increased self-awareness and acceptance of differences can unlock higher levels of performance and mastery, and concepts like attachment theory can play a vital role in that evolution.
For more on this topic, check out our blog: The Inner World of Entrepreneurs: Exploring Attachment Styles.
